It’s no secret what a difficult and trying year 2020 has been. Though it can be easy to worry about the days ahead – hope, comfort, and connection is something that we can all look forward to as we work through these times together.

Through all the challenges this past year has brought us, our determined team of healthcare professionals never wavered, despite the very real challenges of serving those in need during a pandemic. Though we cared for more patients and their families than ever before, the quality of our service, our dedication to comfort, and our ability to empower patients with dignity and hope has remained resolute.

Your support reinforces this determination as we prepare for the year ahead…

With the increased need of our services to accommodate the hospital’s early discharge to empty beds for COVID-19 patients, and the desire of patients and families to be home together during their end-of-life journey, we expect to have another monumental year of service in 2021.

With your support, we can continue to be there for those that need us.

Your donation to Hospice of Central New York & Hospice of the Finger Lakes will ensure that families in Cayuga, Madison, Onondaga, and Oswego counties will continue to receive the dignity, honor, comfort, and expert care they need and deserve.

Together, we can do so much. Together, we can get through this.

To make a donation to our Winter Appeal call 315-634-1100 or visit www.hospicecny.org/yeadonations.

Thank you to everyone that joined us at our Celebration of Life event on Thursday, November 12th. This year, we hosted the event earlier than usual to accommodate a socially distant, outside event, allowing guests to drive through a luminary pathway to enjoy the lighting of the Tribute Lights for the first time this holiday season. The event allowed those who attended to take some time to pause, reflect and honor their loved one’s memory.

At Hospice, it’s been a long-standing tradition of remembering loved ones with a tribute light or memorial brick through our Tribute Lights Appeal. All proceeds go to providing both the critical funding needed to pay for costly medications, supplies, and equipment for patients, as well as dignity and comfort at the end of life for the 1,400 families we will serve this year.

Please know, The Solace Garden will remain lit until the first of the new year and is available to visit all year long.

The month of November is National Hospice Month, a time to educate, and raise awareness of hospice care in our communities. When families have a good understanding of what the Hospice option is, they can then make more informed decisions about their own and their loved ones care.

Hospice care is provided in a home-like setting, whether it be the patient’s house, nursing home, or skilled nursing facility. Hospice care focuses on the patient’s quality of life by addressing pain and symptom management.  The Hospice philosophy is about living out our final months as comfortably and peaceful as possible. Improving the patients overall quality of life is our number one goal.

Every step of this journey there is a care team there to help the patient and their family maneuver through the many end-of-life changes and stages. End-of-life is a special time that should be cherished and treated with respect and dignity; this is our specialty at Hospice of Central New York and Hospice of the Finger Lakes.

For more information call us at (315) 634-1100.

This year, celebrate the memory of someone special. At Hospice, we have a long-standing tradition of remembering loved ones with our annual Tribute Lights Appeal. We invite you to make a donation this year in honor of your loved one.

Your gift will be recognized with a Tribute Light in Hospice’s Solace Garden during the 2020 Holiday Season and will represent the shining memories of your loved one. A gift of $150 or more will provide a permanent tribute brick to be placed in our Solace Garden in the spring. Our beautiful Solace Garden is located at the Liverpool Office and open to visitors all year long.

When you choose to remember your loved one with a gift to our Tribute Lights Appeal, you will receive an invitation to join us at our Celebration of Life event scheduled for Thursday, November 12th, where we will light the Garden for the first time this Holiday Season. The Solace Garden will shine until the first of the year.

“There are two ways of spreading light – to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it.”
-Edith Wharton

Your donation will do more than honor your loved one – it will provide both the critical funding needed to pay for costly medications, supplies, and equipment for patients, as well as dignity and comfort at the end of life. We ask you to make a donation to help provide these essential services to over 1,400 families in our community.

We thank you for taking part in this tradition and remembering your loved one with a gift that brings hope to those who truly need it.

To make a donation click here!

Our Solace Garden lights are sponsored by:

Each year we are proud to honor one special physician in our community with our annual Anita Award. The award was established in 1998 by friends and family in memory of Anita Stockman. The intention of the award is to heighten awareness of the importance of physician communication and support provided to patients and their families facing life-limiting illness and to also promote these skills among physicians in training.

Nomination letters for the Anita Award are solicited from people in our community who have personally experienced responsive care from their physicians. Honor the physician in your life who goes above and beyond for their patients by submitting a nomination letter.

Please send your nomination to: Anita Award, Hospice of Central New York and Hospice of the Finger Lakes, 990 Seventh North Street, Liverpool, NY 13088 or email your nomination to info@hospicecny.org. Please include your name and contact information and why you think this physician merits this award.

Here at Hospice of Central New York and Hospice of the Finger Lakes we have a lovely Solace Garden located at our Liverpool Office. Our Solace Garden was established in 2001 with the purpose to bring a place of solace and reflection to the community and Hospice families.

The Solace Garden consists of beautiful annual and perennial flowering plants, as well as green foliage. The garden has identified pathways, each signifying a feeling that reflects the core of Hospice: Dignity, Peace, Hope, Comfort, Joy, Love and Serenity. The foundation of these pathways are bricks laid in memory or in honor of loved ones.

Over the last 19 years the Solace Garden has been expanded and updated. In 2003 a protective tree line was added, as well as beautiful benches for people to sit and reflect. In 2014 the garden was expanded to offer additional space for families to honor or memorialize loved ones with bricks. In 2018 an additional entrance pathway was installed that is also accessible.

Our Solace Garden is available 365 days a year for people to come, visit, sit and reflect. We hope our garden continues to bring peace and comfort to our community for years to come. If you would like more information on how to purchase a brick to memorialize a loved one click here. If you are unable to visit our garden in-person but would like to view it virtually click here.

The COVID-19 Global Pandemic has been the top story for nearly six months.  No other event in our recent history has affected us so intensely and so rapidly as this virus.  Unlike other traumatic events like the 9-11 Terrorist Attacks, our response to this crisis faces many obstacles as our normal sources of comfort and support are no longer available.  Social gatherings, acts of embracing, and other face-to-face encounters are discouraged due to the spread of infection.  We are unable to mourn publicly, engage in rituals, and share traditions that bring family and friends together in close proximity to one another.   

Self-distancing and mandatory isolation pose several challenges.  Humans are relational beings.  When we grieve, our entire being-physical, emotional, and spiritual- requires human interaction and contact.   A hug, a warm embrace, or even a gentle handshake brings immense comfort at times when words are unable to convey the support we need.  During the pandemic, personal safety is critical, and we are duty-bound to observe the health care guidelines from local, state and federal agencies.   With these limitations and restrictions in place, we still require support, comfort and reassurance as we continue our grief work.  So where do we find these avenues of healing at a time when all access to them are temporarily blocked? 

Our quest for a “new normal” following the death of a loved one requires an adjustment to our overall well-being.  The physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of our grief journey are essential markers that indicate what we have achieved and the work that remains. For many, faith plays an important role in the bereavement process.   We rely on our beliefs to guide us through our grief following the death of a loved one. The current Corona Virus pandemic challenges our ability to live our faith in ways that we have not seen in modern history.  During other times of uncertainty, we gathered in houses of worship, offered prayers and embraced one another for comfort and support. With the current health crisis, we face an additional challenge of self-isolation and are prohibited from assembling in those sacred spaces that provide a sanctuary for healing and renewal.  

Faith communities have addressed some of these concerns by offering live streaming of their worship services on the Internet.  This alternative to the traditional gathering gives comfort and support for many while creating a sense of community, linked with others via the web.  Some seek comfort by quiet reflection, meditation, and spiritual reading as solitude centers our spirit and leads us to a deeper contemplation of the “Divine” and the world around us. Others will venture on nature walks and enjoy the outdoors with reminders that life continues in its vibrancy as flowers bloom, birds sing, and animals go about their normal daily routine unaware of the concerns and cares of the world around them.  

Our physical well-being serves as another marker in our bereavement journey.  Many find comfort in simple pleasures such as gardening.  Our return to the soil is an inherent desire and need to reconnect with nature.  A garden offers an opportunity to find a sense of belonging with our historical past.  Many of us can remember our parents or grandparents who transformed their back yards into lush rows of vegetables, fruit trees, and berry bushes.  As we are deprived of human contact with those we love, the chance to place our hands in the soil and feel the moist cool earth, provides us with some semblance of normalcy. For those of us limited by age or other factors, container gardening on the patio offers the same pleasure and rewards liberating us from the grip of isolation.   

While we struggle with the restrictions and limitations of the global pandemic, we need to assess our well-being during our journey of grief.  How are we handling the loss of our loved one? What are we doing to address the loss? What makes us hopeful and happy?  We need to remind ourselves of our strengths and implement approaches that have worked in previous times with some adjustments to meet today’s threat.   Although the journey may be difficult, we must acknowledge the darkness and look forward to the light.  In other words, we accept the pain and loss from the death and take action that directs us toward healing and restoration.   

No matter where we find ourselves today, the world is still a beautiful place.   Nature is resilient, and so are the creatures that inhabit this world.  It remains important for us to place our current suffering in a larger context, to seek ways to be empowered, to be useful to one another, and to address and reduce the suffering.   Viktor Frankl, the famous Psychotherapist and Holocaust survivor, once said, “We may not be able to choose our suffering, but we do have the opportunity to choose the attitude we take to our suffering.”  By taking action, we discover that we are not helpless; we do have choices, and those choices matter. Be well and live life to its fullest. 

During this unprecedented time which we are going through, we are having a shared grief experience.  We are dealing with our emotions about the significant changes we have been enduring over the past couple of months and will continue to endure for an indefinite amount of time.  With this uncertainty we are facing it is common for many of us, including children, to feel angry, anxious, sad, and scared along with many other emotions.  How we each handle our grief during this time is likely very different from one another, even in our own family which is very common for any grief experience.

Unfortunately, there are many whom are dealing with intensified grief.  Some have been experiencing grief over the death of a loved one along with their grief over the losses in daily life due to restrictions in place because of COVID-19.  When a loved one dies there are often some rituals we can engage in to help us cope and process the death we have endured.  However, now with social or physical distancing in place these cannot always be utilized due to safety and health concerns with the COVID-19 pandemic.  Many families cannot come together to celebrate the life of their loved one that died as many places cannot hold large gatherings.  Often, only immediate family can be a part of these death rituals we need to help us in our grieving process.  All of this is likely to result in delayed grief meaning many will find their grief process delayed as they cannot partake in the meaningful death rituals many find helpful; this also applies to children and teens.

Children and teens need to be able to process the death of a loved one just as adults do, which includes being a part of death rituals.  Many children now are struggling with the loss of not having the structure and routine school brings, not seeing their friends, and not being able to play certain games or in places outside (ex: playground) which can lead to children feeling like many adults do: angry, anxious, sad, and scared along with many emotions.  Add in having to experience the death of a loved one during this time of quarantine and the emotions of many children and teens intensify.  They may not be able to say what they are feeling or be able to identify it so they may act out, be more reserved, or just not appear to be their normal selves.   For children and teens grieving the loss of a loved one, existential questions like

“What happens after death?” can be occupying their minds along with concerns about viruses and germs, and/or fears about their living family members and loved ones getting sick or dying with this happening during a pandemic.

Here are some ways to provide support and understanding to your children and teens:

Make a Safe Space.  Invite children and teens to create a space that feels safe and comfortable enough for them to express their feelings as they come and go. Some ideas:

• Add twinkle lights to a quiet space. Invite the child(ren) to think, talk, or write about their loved one.
• Make a fort and watch a loved one’s favorite movie.
• Use bed sheets and clothespins to create “walls” for private nooks or corners
• Enhance the environment with plants or greenery, which make it easier to breathe. If you don’t have plants, create paper versions with construction paper or recycled homework.

Acknowledge that this is a strange and difficult time, even without the restrictions caused by the virus; children will be relieved to have their concerns noticed. Validate the concerns your children and teens have about the pandemic and the death of their loved one.

Reassure children. This is a worrying time for children anyway and the combination of bereavement and concern about the effects of the virus may make them particularly anxious that they are “not doing things right”.  Reassure them that their relative knew they were loved and cared for along with that not attending the funeral is the right thing to do at this time.

Look after yourself. Super-parents or super-carers don’t really exist. Simply doing the best you can at this time is all that your children need. Take time to look after yourself too.  Model how to take care of yourself and stay healthy.  Work together to practice hand-washing, cook a nourishing meal, or take a walk outdoors.

Reach out for support. There are many resources on the internet to help parents and carers support grieving children. We are also available at The Hospice Grief Center via telephone (315) 634-2208.

Keep children informed (where possible and within their understanding) about what will happen to their relative’s body and how the funeral will take place.

Keep talking and keep listening to what children are saying about not being able to attend the funeral if they had wanted to go.

If children and/or teens are not able to attend the funeral, there are several ways to still make the experience special and deeply meaningful:

• Watch the funeral online from home if live streaming is offered.
• Try to video call each other for the service.
• Follow the same order of the service from home. The service could be a memorial or a religious ceremony. This could be at the same time or later when the relative who attend the funeral can share what happened.
• Photographs can be taken to show them and help them understand what happens at a funeral.
  • Helpful ones can be: the outside of the place where the funeral is being held, the hearse, the casket (or equivalent), any flowers or decoration(s), and the interior of the place (with permission).
• Keepsakes from the funeral service can be very meaningful.
  • Examples, some flowers from the tribute to press and keep, a leaf from one of the trees in the grounds, a pebble from the surrounding area, and/or the order of service.
• Have them participate by contributing to some of the choices within the ceremony.
  • Examples: They could choose a piece of music, select a poem, or suggest flowers.
• Have them write and/or draw cards to be placed on or in the coffin or choose a toy or something meaningful to be placed with the person’s body.
• Have them write a tribute to the person who died which can be read by the person leading the service or by whoever is able to attend.

Adapted from:  https://www.winstonswish.org/coronavirus-funerals-alternative-goodbyes/

For further information and support contact:
The Hospice Grief Center
Phone: (315) 634-2208
Website: www.hospicecny.org