Letting Go

I release my grip, from illusions of permanence, and drift in the freedom, of the ever-changing winds.
Chris Advansun

Following the death of a loved one, there can be so many different feelings to cope with. There is the ache of missing someone you may have lived with every day for years or a lifetime. The confusion of being alone. How do I use the snowblower? Where did she leave the frying pans? The silence. The smell of her perfume. No one to share good and bad news with. I can’t tell you how many times I reached for the phone to tell my mother of her grand child’s latest achievement, only to realize she wasn’t there anymore.

Many of us really hate any type of change. The death of a loved one brings so many changes. While we learn to cope with our loss it may be advisable to embrace some of these changes. After-all, change can be a good thing as well. Perhaps you have always wanted a little more independence and this recent change may have given you the time to explore that. The passing often brings family and friends closer… a shared experience like a death may jump-start a renewed or stronger relationship with a family member or friend.

Getting used to the “new normal” takes time. It also takes patience and an openness to dive into the new. Yes, there will be setbacks and bad days, but they existed in the “old normal” as well. I believe song writer Laura Nero said it best when she wrote “Nothing cures like time and love”.